To Resolve or Not to Resolve, that is the question...

Someone recently told me this quote by Junot Diaz, “In order to write the book you want to write, in the end you have to become the person the person you need to become to write that book.”

I love that concept. And I think it’s natural at this time of year to look back at the year that was and look ahead to the year before me and ponder how I'd need to change in order to get what I want to create. I know I always do.

 

Some people like to write New Year’s resolutions. When I asked my friends about this, they said things like, Noooo. No resolutions. YUCK. In my head, I know what I have to do. I don't like writing resolutions. Then I feel like I failed if I don't stick to them. 

 

And, A resolution is more like a wish than a do don't ya think?

 

Then one of them said, The book I'm reading reminds us to live with purpose and create good habits that's kind of the opposite of a resolution.

 

I thought wow, this is in line with my way of thinking about it: that we have to ‘keep good thoughts’ as my grandmother would say, and do the work required to get to where we want to go.

 

A few years ago, I changed the title of my list to ‘Intentions’. The Oxford Dictionary defines ‘Resolution’ as ‘great determination’, and ‘Intention’ as what one intends to do.

 

For my list each year, I write down what I'd like to achieve in the coming months along with something I could tackle about myself. For instance, this year I intend to conquer my fear of public speaking by joining a local Toastmasters club.

 

A couple of years ago, at this time, my critique buddy, Maria Cisneros-Toth, and I came up with a fun idea - to write our goals for 2013 on paper, and put them in a bottle. We called it a mini ‘time capsule’, (to be opened on New Year’s Eve). Maria posted a YouTube video  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyjnScr4BHw in which she shared what she’d written the year before and her new set of goals, and shows you how to make your own time capsule.

 

 



 

This is an excerpt from my time capsule of Intentions for 2013 which were all large scale: 1) to score a traditional book publishing deal for Aden Weaver & the Or'in of Tane Mahuta 2) to have Peter Jackson (my idol) turn the first book into a movie 3) to finish Aden Weaver & the Sasori Empire completely.

 

This is an excerpt from my time capsule for 2014 Intentions, which were more modest: 1) to finish Aden Weaver & the Or'in of Tane Mahuta completely 2) to publish it myself.

While my time capsule message for 2015 has one Intention: 1) to finish and publish Aden Weaver & the Or'in of Tane Mahuta!!!

Sometimes you just have to suck it up and admit you’re not quite where you intended to be, while still walking the delicate tightrope between the truth and optimism, as is defined and redefined every year by my New Year’s List of Intentions.

 

Leonardo da Vinci said, "Art is never finished, only abandoned." Ain’t that the truth!

 

 

 

Talk to you in 2015!
 

Yvette K. Carol

 

"This morning I took out a comma, and this afternoon I put it back again." ~ Oscar Wilde

 

 

 



Do You Celebrate the ‘0’ birthdays?

This subject was raised by a writer friend on Facebook recently, and it sparked a great discussion. Her post rued her non-achievement of 'world domination' by 30. I commented to say that I had failed to celebrate turning 30. And I regretted it! I really felt I'd missed an important step. I guess it’s a ritual-type of celebration, and we throw a party to usher in a new era in our life. When I didn’t do anything ‘special’ for my 30th I felt a sense of ‘let-down’ ever afterward. I urged her to celebrate!

I plan to do something special for every ‘0’ birthday from now on. When I turned 40, I celebrated with bells on.

Coincidentally this FB conversation was started after a long year of being 49, when 50 was hurtling upon me like a thundering locomotive down the tracks!

What surprised me was I found this impending moment far more complex emotionally than I’d ever expected. I had to go on a real journey to acceptance of the concept of being ‘that old’.  Luckily the weekend before my birthday, I took the time to write my thoughts down about this milestone. Researchers have proved recently that writing things down is a tremendously effective stress release. I know it to be true for me.

Preparing for my 50th Birthday Dinner

I mulled over my feelings on every run. I remembered how excited my sister had felt when she turned 50. And I remembered the wondrous show Oprah Winfrey did on her 50^th when she talked about feeling more empowered than ever before.

Ready to go!

 

I really liked what Glenn Hefley said in the FB conversation, “Now I'm coming up on fifty. Finally. I'm at a point were the skills I always wanted to have are at my finger tips. And, I have a worthy direction to hurtle my best spears and extend my deepest empathy.... We are such marvelous creatures. Humans, yes, but writers in particular. After all of these centuries, all the changes and the advances -- we're still the only wizards this world has ever had. We are the storytellers. We are the ones who use the words of power to shatter gloom, raise the moon and blind the sun if necessary. We create gods of every sort, one for every taste of the imagination, and every guilty need. With our gods we bend men's backs and wither women' s hands. Then we give them absolution. We show them, even after they have tried to find love, and have been beaten and scarred over and over again, that it is still worth the effort.”

 

I like that a lot. Glenn speaks of the physical and the metaphysical aspects of aging in a way that reminds me everything is okay.

 

I remember I am doubly blessed to be fifty and a writer. There's a new sense of the possibilities that come with age....

 

 

 

Birthday lunch with my sister 





I was trying to explain to my sister and my girlfriends, that though it might sound silly, for some reason the fact that I’ve entered my fifties, I feel I am a grown up. I feel no one can tell me what to do or push me around anymore. I call the shots now. It’s a turning point for sure in my life.

As Maggie Stietfvater so famously said, (also on FB) “I’m more myself with every year.”

This is the way I feel too, however never more so than this year and it's wonder-full.

 

 

After-Birthday lunch with my bestie

Talk to you later, 

Yvette K. Carol

How about you - how do you handle the aging process? Have you celebrated every '0' birthday? Did you ever miss one?

 

 

 

 

“The superior virtue is not to be free but to fight for freedom.” ~ Nikos Kazantzakis





The Shine a Light Campaign!

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group! is a supportive online environment for insecure writers. A big aspect of IWSG is the idea of giving as well as taking. The group organizers 'encourage everyone to visit at least a dozen new blogs and leave a comment. Your words might be the encouragement someone needs.'

In the spirit of this give-and-take code of conduct, I’d like to share a wonderful initiative by a friend of mine. My good friend, author and poet, Catherine Johnson came up with a brilliant idea recently called the Shine a Light campaign.

“I’ve decided to start a blog campaign on Mondays with your help using a hashtag like #shinealight to spotlight deeds of kindness/help.  If you hear of a story where someone did something to help someone else feel free to cover a story on your blog and use the hashtag #shinealight on Twitter.” ~ C.J.

 

My Shine a Light story takes us back in time a few years. It is about my grandmother, Nan Hefferan, who lived a life of impeccable service to others.

Nan gave to others her entire life. She served as a barrister in her small town in England and was known for ‘being fair’. She also held the position of County Borough Organizer for the Women’s Voluntary Service and was known for ‘being involved in many charitable works’. The charity initiative for which she became widely known however was the ‘Trolley Shop’. It was her idea to take simple items the rest of us take for granted like combs, and pantyhose, and fruit into the Workhouses on a wheeled ‘shop’, which my grandfather built by repurposing their old tea trolley.

Nan told me that the first time she and her women took the trolley shop, otherwise known as ‘meals on wheels’ into one of the Workhouses, it was an instant success. They had been through the entire complex of buildings, when Nan realized that the man in charge was hurrying her and her posse of WVS past the mentally infirm and disabled ward. Nan stopped him and insisted the mentally infirm and disabled inmates must be given their turn to ‘shop’ as well. “They have just as much right as anyone else in the Workhouse.”

 

Upon the door opening to the mental ward, Nan said she froze when a large woman lumbered across the room towards her. Though terrified, my five-foot-tall grandmother stood her ground. The woman drew up before Nan and reached up to stroke Nan’s face. “Nice,” the woman said and smiled.

 

And that was the start of the WVS Trolley Service into the Workhouses—the mentally disabled wings included. This simple idea alleviated the dire lives of countless poverty-stricken and disadvantaged folk.

I really admire my grandmother's spirit of regarding all people as equal. Even those our society has long sought to discard. A humble magnet on her fridge spoke of her life's ethic, a bible verse of just two words: “Be kind.”  

 

 

Have you witnessed a random display of kindness lately? Do you feel inspired by other people’s acts of charity? Know people who are givers rather than takers? Have you got a ‘Shine a Light’ story? Please share.

 

‘A man is only truly ethical when he obeys the compulsion to help all life he is able to assist. And shrinks from injuring anything that lives.’ ~ Albert Schweitzer

 

Talk to you later,

Yvette K. Carol

 

~~

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group Guide to Publishing and Beyond – Available Now!

Posted: 01 Dec 2014 06:52 AM PST

Just in time for IWSG post week and Christmas - The Insecure Writer’s Support Group Guide to Publishing and Beyond is available for downloading. Thanks to everyone who contributed – it is packed with information! Please help us spread the word about this awesome book.