How do you protect your unique voice in the critique group experience?

In accordance with the guidelines of the Insecure Writers Support Group, where writers share their insecurities and thoughts, I’m writing my post to coincide with the first Wednesday of the month. My topic for this post is critique groups.
I remember many years ago when I joined kiwiwrite4kids, the organizer, Maria Gill, advised me to join a critique group.

Myself and Maria Gill at last year's Storylines Children's Literature Festival.

 

As Anne R. Allen said,‘Joining a writing group is one of the easiest ways to learn your craft. And it's way cheaper than hiring an editor.’

 

It’s taken me a long time to find the right critique group. Along the way to finding the group that really works best for me, I went through a disastrous experience with a writing partner who slowly undercut my confidence and reduced me to questioning whether I even wanted to be a writer. I’ve been in groups where it was all ‘take’ and no ‘give’ and groups where I was the only experienced writer on board.

 

As Anne R. Allen said in her recent blog post, when you’re in a group you’re not sure is right for you, ask yourself, ‘Do their suggestions give you an "ah-ha" moment, or make you want to toss the baked brie in the critiquer's face?’ 

 

And if the latter is the case, and these people appear to be more vicious than helpful, realize, ‘People like this are operating from a place of envy and fear. Nothing they say can help you, because they're only half-listening to your piece. They're too busy rehearsing their bitter bon mots. The fix: Run! Get out while you still have the will to live.’ 

 

Thankfully, I have finally found a group this year that fits my needs and my lifestyle and is peopled with others who give and take in equal measure.

The issue for me now is how do I utilize all their great suggestions while still retaining my style and protecting my voice? And this is an issue I’ve been discussing lately with other writers. It’s a real conundrum.

With one piece recently, I followed every single person’s suggestions to the letter, and the resulting story was neat as a pin. Only problem was it didn’t sound or feel like me anymore.

After a similar experience, my dear friend, the author, Maria Cisneros-Toth said, ‘I began to read aloud starting at chapter one. Horrified, I stopped. My character's voice was gone. I panicked, jumped up and went straight to my computer and began dropping in those parts that I had been told to delete. They were still fresh in my mind, thank goodness. And from there I fleshed out the story. I remembered my counselor's words and I still live by them even in my writing...sift and choose your information.’

My friends over on Writing for Children and I are about to critique one another’s stories for an anthology we’re putting together. I decided to address this issue with them, so I wrote this letter:

 

'This is what I want to say about critique, which I've just been learning recently, these are purely my thoughts, you don't have to take them on if they don't resonate with you. We're all different. Maria & I have been discussing this lately. It's just that if we take every single critique, even when we don't agree with it, then we may end up with a piece that's not authentic to us. Only take on board that which in your gut feels right. So feel free to use or discard my comments. It's up to you.'

Do you agree? What critique group experiences have you had?

See ya in the funny papers!

Till next time,

Yvette K. Carol